Dealing with My Past

Dealing with My Past

I spent many years believing I was a Christian without allowing Jesus to be the Lord of my life.  Thankfully He rescued me from this situation.  In my 30’s I recommitted my life to Jesus and began to truly follow Him as sincerely as I could. I am grateful for the transformation God's spirit has worked in me since then.  I look back at my old self and wonder how I could be so vastly different from that woman in my past.

I occasionally encounter someone who knew only the old me.  When this happens, I feel very sad that this person saw me behave in a way that I regret.  I’m especially saddened when I remember that I called myself a Christian at that time.  We so often hear the “Christians are all hypocrites” insult tossed around.  When confronted with my past, I see that I could have added to that misconception.

I know my Lord does not want me to wallow in feelings of guilt and regret.  He loves me too much for that.  Though His great love, He has cleansed me of my sin.

As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. – Psalms 103:12 (NKJV)

I believe that any situation can be used for His glory so I have asked God to show me how to deal with this.  I see now that speaking about my past to others could be His way of opening a door to their heart.  If I will be open and honest, those embarrassing memories could become the gateway to a conversation about the transforming power of my Lord.

The Apostle Paul spoke about his own spiritual transformation in his first letter to Timothy.  When Paul spoke of his past, he focused on God’s grace, not his own failures.  What great instruction we find in God’s word!

And the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant, with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. - 1 Timothy 1:15 (NKJV)